Living with Breast Cancer

I was sitting on my couch September 1st 2008. It was hot and I didnt have much on. I was wiping some sweat off my left breast when I felt a hard round lump just above the aureole. I got scared and called TELEHEALTH. I’m not sure but just in case I’m from Kirkland Lake, Ontario, Canada. Telehealth is where we call when we’re not sure what to do.

On both sides of my family I pretty much have it all. All kinds of Cancer, stroke heart attacks, high blood pressure varicose veins, cholesterol, diabetes, I don’t know what else. I’m afraid to ask. Anyhow I contacted my doctor clinic and they fit me in after hours the next day. The doctor tried to draw fluid out but it was solid. Boy did it hurt when she did it. I was told I should go to Sudbury to have it all taken care of in one day. I didnt have a clue how to go about it. So much has happened with this I dont know if I’ll have enough room for it.

Anyway, I had a biopsy in which I wasn’t frozen enough and it hurt like hell. I was upset at the doctor and he said to me: LOOK AT ME THIS IS SERIOUS. I’m left handed and he was on my left side. I felt like reaching out and TOUCHING HIM (you get my drift). Perfect height and distance.

I was screaming it hurt so bad. Then October 5th he did the lumpectomy. Everything was fine until I ended up with an infection on October 16th that lasted until I had my lady taken off. I had antibiotics orally and they didn’t work so I had I.V.and that seemed to help but it wasn’t going away. Late november it was still infected and the original doctor told me I should go into emerge when she was there in the evening and she’d clean it out. She did a fantastic job, but I had to have it cleaned and packed until my surgery. So from November 25th 2008 until my surgery December 29th 2008 I was cleaned and packed EVERY DAY. My sister, brother and I went to sudbury december 28, and I had my surgery the next day. It was pushed back to later that day. I’m the type of person who comes out of anaesthetic easily. I’m claustrophobic in a big time way when it comes to masks. I make sure they don’t put one on me until I’m totally out because I fight it. Then when I come out of O.R. I want it taken off me if I’m breathing. If the 0/2 monitor is at 95 or better then you’re breathing on your own and you have good oxygen in your system. I fought the nurse to have it taken off. That doesn’t usually happen. I had to fight her to NOT take 2 Percocet which I had no idea what would do to me. I won and took only one.

My sister and the nurse helped get me dressed. My coat was on and with help I got off the bed, turned around and tied up my own boots. I had a massive bandage across my left side and my sister and the nurse were amazed at what I did. I sat in the wheelchair and my sister wheeled me to the car and we came back to Kirkland Lake that night. We left at 9:30p and got home at 3:30a. I knew that I’d sleep better in my own bed and I’d heal faster at home. WE took the long way home and passed hospitals that I didn’t need.

I asked my brother if the Percs were supposed to make you happy because I was. He said yes and I said I’m glad I didn’t take the other one I’d be bouncing all over the car. So much has happened. I was told I should have radiation and I felt like a caged animal when some one mentioned it. I didn’t do it. I had chemo though. I flew through that. I listened to what everyone had to say and decided what would and wouldn’t happen to me. The most severe I had was constipation and loss of hair.

I have a FANTASTIC surgeon named MICHELLE BRULE. she has a great sense of humor. she did my 6 month check up and after poking and prodding me stood up and said: “I can’t feel anything” meaning I was free and clear. I have to go for check ups with oncology and surgeon once a year for each. For the most part I’ve had a lot of support. When one of my uncles found out I had to have my lady removed he and his girlfriend were upset. She decided to make me a new PERKY ONE. Two pieces of cotton material with polyester filling stitched together and she knitted an aureole and a nipple. Oh my god what a sight.

I wear them sometimes and I get a lot of laughs with all of them. I have more than one. I had a bone scan done and there wasn’t anything other than what was originally found. I had an AGGRESSIVE cancer. After the surgery my surgeon told me that I had cancer in the nipple as well as the breast. There was a string like substance that was connected to the inside of my nipple and attached to the marble lump. If the marble moved it pulled on the inside of my nipple. I told the doctor what I thought I had and she confirmed it. I had cancer in the centinel node as well. Only one. They took 10 nodes out only one was infected but it was so engorged that it burst. In the pictures it looked like a misshapen heart. Chemo took care of it. I told my body to get rid of the cancer. I was lucky, but I do know my body and I tell it what to do.

When I found the lump it was the size of a marble. My body made a 5.5 x 4.6 lump and encased the marble piece of cancer. My body took over and stopped the growth of the cancer. After they took the first one out a second lump grew but that was after I said to my body if there’s any more grab it. The second lump was clean. When my hair started hurting I took a pair of scissors and knelt in front of the bath tub and cut what I could. then I had it buzzed off. I started using a bath puff and scrubbed my head to exfoliate my scalp which brought me thicker hair. I had baby thin fine hair. Now it’s nice and thick. I don’t wear the wig anymore.

I haven’t worn a bra for months. the left side was at least 1 cup size bigger than the right. I’m going to get a nice new PERKY ONE, then I’ll start wearing bra’s again. I was worried about my temperature at times but for the most part I was very healthy and still am. most don’t know and/or can’t believe how I’m doing. I now have mild lymphedema which is manageable. Like I said I have a good support system. I hope I’ve helped some of you. I try to keep as much of a smile on my face. I work as a crossing guard and I also work as a hall monitor and playground monitor so I’m surrounded by a lot of kids and they make me feel happy. I do lots of walking.

All I can say is the more positive you are the better you feel. The one person I needed to help me with this is no longer here. She had a stroke in Aug or 2004 and passed christmas eve 2006. I know she’s with me but it isnt the same. Still I have my sister and some really good close friends. The only advice I can give for going through chemo is to decide what you will go through. Unfortunately constipation and hair loss are 2 that can’t be controlled. everything else can be. I didnt vomit or get nauseous. I flew through my chemo I’d go and have the session after work, then go home, rest and then go back to work that afternoon. People were amazed and thought I was nuts. I took 4 weeks off of work and then I went back at the end of january 2009. I still have some pain once in a while but I’ve been told it’s a process and it will take a while for it to heal. If any of you wish to talk to me I’d be happy to answer what I can or just read what you want to write. I have to go to bed for work tomorrow. All I can say is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU.
Take care.
Sue.