Coping With Cervical Dysplasia

I understand all of the stories posted on this website. Last November I found out I had an abnormal pap and HPV The fear and embarassment hits you kind of hard. I was actually involved in a monogamous relationship at that time but from some of the information I had read, I wasn’t sure if this was something that I could have had for years and is just now deciding to show itself.

So I choose not to believe that he was cheating on me. I went in for a colonoscopy and a biospy on Dec. 24th. It made for a long Christmas holiday. It wasn’t very joyous as I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was going to tell my family that I had cancer. My mom had died of cancer 20 yrs ago and my father’s 2nd wife died of cancer the preceeding year. Even though I knew catching cervical cancer early was far from a death sentence, the fear of the word ‘cancer’ alone would have caused an unstoppable panic in my father.

It took 2 weeks for me to get my results. The waiting was unbearable. I called the doctor’s office and was told my results were back but I had to wait until the doctor, who was on vacation, came back to discuss with me. This caused a sequel of the horror movie about the things I was going to have to endure to fight cancer that was continually playing in my mind’s eye.

After her vacation, the doctor called to tell me that the biopsy was negative for cancer and I just needed to come in for another pap in 6 months. I was relieved. I felt like I was totally out of the woods. In reading some of your stories, I realized it may not be over yet. I’m afraid to sleep with my boyfriend for fear that he is cheating and I may not be so ‘lucky’ next time. I guess I’ll find out where the next chapter goes in a few more months.