When I was 23 I had my first pap come back abnormal. At that time it was mildly abnormal, and they weren’t too concerned. I then had a colposcopy, and after that was sent to have further treatment. They found that within the two month timespan it had progressed from mild to severe. A month later I was able to go in for my Gyn appointment. The Gyn was shocked by how quickly it had progresses, and sent the sample off for testing in their lab to confirm the results. They came back the same, and I was scheduled for a LEEP procedure. They tried to do it in office, but after several shots of lidocaine, she realized the lidocaine was not working, so I had to have the procedure done as an outpatient hospital procedure.

I had to have a spinal for the procedure, and some iv medication that made me conscious yet made me not care about what they were doing. Once she started the procedure she realized it was much worse than they had predicted, and she had to cut away a large portion of my cervix. So, after the surgery I was in pain. I asked for something for pain, and they gave me Morphine. I then found out that I have an allergy to that because I almost immediately developed hives and my blood pressure started dropping. Obviously the complications from everything scared me, but I was at least happy that everything was all better.

Well, that’s what I thought. Now last week, after five years of normal paps I’m back in the same situation. It came back abnormal with High risk HPV (I don’t remember everything the pathology report said) Well, that’s how it all started last time, and in no time I was one stage prior to cancer.

I spoke with my doctor, and he wanted to use the wait and see approach. I told him about my history, and how aggressive it was last time, and he did not seem concerned and said we would wait four months to see where it was then.

I now have an appointment for a second opinion next month, and am very nervous. I was told after my LEEP that they would probably not be able to perform another one due to the amount of Cervix they had to remove, so I’m scared and confused about what my options are.

I’m now engaged to be married in June 2010, and my furture husband and I wanted to try for a baby right after we get married. (I have a 7 year old little boy from a previous marriage, but we want another child)

My fiance is very supportive of everything, and understands the complications we may have in the future with having another child.

All of this seems unfair though. I’m finally happy again, and have the love of my life and am ready to start a family with him and now I’m thrown this.

I have no idea what my options are, and that’s what scares me the most. If I do have another LEEP it will leave very little cervix, and that in turn would effect my fertility.

I read that the recurrence rate after a LEEP is low, yet somehow mine is back, and they found several high risk types associated with this new finding.

I guess the point of my post is to let everyone know that they’re not alone, and hopefully get a few happy stories from women that had Severe dysplasia and had a LEEP and then had it return and had treatment and went on to have children.

As selfish as it may sound since I already have a 7 year old son, I want nothing more than to get through this with my health and my fertility.