i am 18 years old soon to be 19 in December. I have been seriously depressed for longer than i can remember. My father was an alcoholic and left my family when i was 11, since then i guess i was always looking for escapes, temporary highs, and it worked for a really long time, i was alright being a maniac for a really long time. Then, i fell in love. With a 5 years clean drug free man. All i was about was drugs… because i couldnt handle my feeings without something doping me up or down.

I went through therapy, and psychiatry and started taking Prozac, which did NOTHING for me. One night after an access of drugs plus my perscribed drugs i drove to my boyfriends house and he called my mom and told me it was over. Then i tried to hurt myself with broken glass from a picture frame. That got me admitted to a psych ward, which by the way does nothing.

That was about 5 months ago and ive been clean and cut free ever since. But i feel worse than ever. I know i could have a really good life but im just so mentally tired all the time. and i feel horrible all the time. Like i want to lay down and never move again. Like i want to sleep and never wake up again. The meds ive tried have been Prozac and Lexapro…. i dont know what will help me but i feel helpless and alone. The only person i really have in my life is my boyfriend, and he doesnt understand what this depression does to me. it gets worse everyday.