Living with Eating Disorders

I had battled with my weight throughout junior high and high school. I had successfully taken off about 20 pounds junior year on a diet, but as I went into my senior year I wasn’t continuing to lose weight and I began to feel anxious. Sometime in the beginning of my senior year I ate way too much food at a tailgate party and decided to purge to stay comfortable. It worked so well that I tried it again a few days later.

In the beginning I thought I had control over my purging, but as the weeks wore on I began to feel edgy after every meal because I had to get to a bathroom. Finally I realized that I had to put a stop to something that was controlling me. Bullimia was something I did to control my weight, and I had let it develop into something that controlled my thoughts as well as my actions. The step I took to stop was telling my best friend. She yelled at me and swore she’d never let me do it again. This helped a little bit, but in weak moments I didn’t have anyone there to stop me so I continued doing it.

Finally I told my mom. When I told her I realized I was mad at her for not figuring it out and stopping me. This made for a very tearful conversation. Once I told my mom things became a lot easier. While my problem still exists, I have made better decisions regarding my health. I now eat healthy and exercise regularly. I may still worry too much about my weight but I know that I have control over how my body works.