Living with RSD

I am a 35 year old woman that used to teach children with Autism. The students at the school that I worked at had severe enough Autism that their counties couldn’t place them in public schools so they were sent to our school. On June 13, 2007 my student aggressed on me. He first pulled my hair which I was able to free myself from using the training that we were given to help protect us from injury. His Behavior intervention plan gave him 30 seconds of aggression or non-compliance to reach criteria. At that time he went into a procedure for tantrums to redirect his behavior. We wore protective gear (arm pads {to prevent biting from breaking the skin}, denim jackets {again to protect from biting} and hats {to protect from hair pulling}. I had on all of the required protective gear as well as long pants and a walkie talkie to call for back up. As soon as the hair pulling occurred I walkied for help.

This student’s behavior plan required that after criteria was met the classroom was to be cleared {the student threw everything and they became projectiles). I removed almost everything from the classroom but knew that this student would also slam the door. I moved the wooden wedge that was used as a door stop because during a tantrum anything could become a projectile and harm another student or teacher. I used my dominate hand to try to block the door from getting slammed and my hand got crushed in the door (a solid wooden door from an old hospital). We are not supposed to react when injured but the pain was excruciating and I screamed in agony. I finished clearing the classroom while the student threw whatever was in the room. I tried not to cry in front of the student and silently sobbed and tears rolled down my cheeks from the pain.

After about 2 or 3 minutes back-up staff arrived and they needed my protective gear. I have NEVER felt pain like I did after my hand was crushed. I went to a different area where there weren’t too many students around (I didn’t want them to see me cry). I went to the doctor that is affiliated with our school for workman’s comp. After many x-rays and painful examinations it was determined that my hand was not broken. I was taken out of work and put on full disability. I didn’t want to be on disability so after taking the first day off after the accident (I woke up in the middle of the first night screaming because it felt like someone was ripping my thumb off) I tried to go back to work against doctor’s orders. The higher ups told me to go home. I begged them to let me stay but alas I was still sent home in tears.

Since then I have had 4 failed surgeries {3 ganglion blocks and a nerved catheter). I have grown immune to most pain killers and am in pain constantly. I have worked extremely hard not to lose the use of my dominate hand but the RSD spread up the entire arm. The pain is even in my armpit. I feel as if I am losing hope…. I don’t know what to do. I eloped on New Year’s Eve because I was too sick to have a big wedding. We are trying to plan that for this summer but my health is very poor. I don’t sleep… I don’t eat…. I am in so much pain and simply am miserable.

Please, someone give me hope…. what can I do to control this horrible disorder?