Living with RSD

Hello everybody. I’m writing my story in the hopes that it will help others that live with RSD or any other chronic/terminal disorder, pain oriented or otherwise. I fell through a table at a greenhouse I was working in as a summer job on my June 4th 2002, my 21st birthday.

After they told me that my left foot was just sprained, I thought it would heal within a few weeks. However, after 2 weeks it burned, was always swollen, extremely painful to the touch (socks, baths, bed sheets,shoes, etc). When I went back to my doctor (2 weeks after injury) he performed an x-ray which didn’t show a break, but that was when he first suspected Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy At first my physiotherapist didn’t agree nor did the orthopeadic surgeon And after 4 months it went into remission for about 2 months.

I started back into my swimming and then continued my fourth year (two half semesters to be careful with my injury), but at Christmas time it started slowly returning, and by April of the 2003 I was walking with a cane. I was taking Gabapentin at the time and soon started taking Hydromorph Contin, as the pain, swelling, and senstivity to touch became just too overwhelming. At that point, May 2003, the Orthopeadic surgeon said it was Tarsal Tunnel and proceeded to inject a long acting anesthetic into my foot.

After about 20 minutes, my foot felt worse and rapidly my symptoms became worse. During the summer I came to the conclusion that my body just couldn’t handle university. But, because I was determined to do something with my life so I enrolled into a Business Admin- Accounting course at the NSCC, next to my old High School, located about a 2 minute drive from my home. At the beginning of the school year my meds went up from 25mg of Hyromorph Contin twice daily to 125mg, with Dilaudid for breakthrough pain.

Also, after much painstaking effort I managed to get WCB to pay for my cab to and from school, as I was done at school 3-4 hours before I could get a drive home from my mother whom I lived with. I did well at school. Just before that school year, however, one of my aunt’s worked with someone at the local Pain Clinic in who told my story to one of the Pain Specialists. And I was blessed enough to receive an appointment in January 2004 for a Lumbar Spinal Nerve Block.

However, after two more lumbar blocks and one Bier Block (block at the site) and although they didn’t have any effect, my pain specialist changed my on to Methadone (105 mg daily), Lyrica (for me, more effective than Gabapentin), a higher dose of Dilaudid (8mg as needed). Also, he recommended me to a Neurosurgeon for the possibility of an Implanted Lumbar Spinal Cord Stimulator.

I met with him in July of 2004 and without hesitation decided to go ahead with the permanent implant to be done that November. It worked well, not all of my pain was gone of course, but about 25%-30%. Therefore, I had a permanent one implanted January 19th 2005. After a few days in the hospital and a week off school, I continued on with my life. When I was healed from the surgery, I started to notice that it worked quite well and because of that I was able to graduate 2nd in my class and obtained a job with a Communications Contractor (after I trained with them for 5 weeks as a part of my course).

By the end of 2005 I was almost completely off my methadone, but that was not to last. Eventually I noticed an increase in my pain and that I was experiencing the same kind of pain in my right foot. Unfortunately, it only got worse, for both of my feet. My methadone went up to eventually be 90 mg a day, along with 24mg Hydromorph contin 2x daily,100mg Lyrica 2x daily, and 8 mg Dilaudid breakthrough pills.

About 3/4 through 2006, I was let go for my job because there was apparently there was not enough work to keep be busy. I never believed that to be the reason as a few weeks before my boss asked to talk to me about it when I got back from my vacation, unfotunately I never got the chance to. I couldn’t prove it, but I still believe it. It was hard to find a job. When people see a cane it is assumed that you may not be as hard a worker, that you need work just for medical coverage, or that it would greatly affect your week.

After 6 weeks I got an 8 month term job at Manulife, followed by a 4 month stint of unemployment. Then I was able to get a 6 week term as the Bookkeeper at a woman’s safehouse that I actually been at with my Mum and sister years ago after my Mum left my Dad. Finally, a friend recommended me for a job at an electrical distributor, which I got and have always performed to the highest of my ability.

After a year at this job, I am still doig great and am greatly respected by coworkers. During this whole experience I made sure that I did exercise to prevent my feet from stiffening up and my feet muslces from wasting, which had started to happen after about 1.5 years into the disoder. But, probably the most important affect it has had on my life is the great strengthening of faith.

I could have allowed this condition to make me a recluse who wouldn’t have to work her whole life, and live off WCB benefits for the rest of my life, but I couldn’t do that. It happened when I was only 21 years old and life is too precious to waste. God gives me the strength everyday to get up and make it through the day and get to my in-depth Bible Study once a week for 8 months out of 12. By asking God to give me the strengh, His srength, to get through he day and enjoy the small things in life and thank God for how He has changed me.

I went from being an anxious perfectionist before my injury who self-medicated with alcohol, was suicidal, who was lost, but was so determined to accomplish her goal of being a School Psychologist to someone distinctly different. Today, I am the one telling others to relax, that the little things aren’t worth getting so upset about, and that faith in combination of my medication, exercise, my stimulator, and my doctors. Withot the belief of my GP who first picked it up, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’d probably be a recluse, unemployed, and a nervous wreck. Instead I decided that I would see these changes as the silver lining in the cloud. I may have a lot of limitations in my life, but I have grown both emotionally and spiritually beyond my years.

I live every day as my last and if I didn’t have a cane, no one at work would have even knew I had a disability. And on July 20, 2007, my life became even more precious to me with the arrival of my first nephew Brandon Michael of my only sibling, my sister. I enjoy every day. This disorder has made me a stronger person who knows that life is too precious to waste on the little bad things that happen in life. I could have allowed myself to shut down and unemployed.

My family has been invaluable; my mother, whom I live with, helps me out alot as I am not allowed to drive because of how tired the Methadone makes me and that my foot reflexes are slow due to muscle wasting. When I can’t get a decent time with Access-A-Bus, my mother gives me a drive to and from work, I dust the main level, clean up dishes of mine on the weekend, and vaccuume. Without my mother I wouldn’t have come through this the way I have without my mother.

If I could give any advice to people with my same disorder or other chronic conditions, that life is about learning and finding the lessons and positive impacts of your mistakes. If God would let me change this event and to have never been injured, I would say No. It is not because I want to be pitied or the centre of attention, but because God has changed me for the better and God has helped me see who I am on the inside. I would go through it all over again as the change in me and my faith occured because of this problem and has given me such a positive impact.

To those in my same situation, remember that whenever God closes a door, He opens a window. Although some days are better than others, I still see my life as a gift and my injury as the silver lining that has forever changed me. Try and see the best of a bad situation because God will use those bad situations to help you grow and become such a better and happier person. And for that I will always thank God!! I have been blessed in my few years. My prayers are with you all!!