On July 22, 2006, I was struck and run over in the parking lot of a golf course. An acquaintance of mine drove a speeding cart uncontrollably through the rocky lot, finally crashing into me, hitting my lower back and throwing me into the air like a rag doll. I crashed onto the ground on my stomach, with striking pain shooting from my lower back through my whole body. The driver then slammed on the gas pedal, mistaking it for the brake, in a moment of shock, and the tires spun furiously over my body. I felt every inch and pound of the cart spin over my feet, then my calves, my knees, and my back until the axle of the cart “fish-hooked” my tailbone.

The axle caught my tailbone, and dragged me for 15 to 20 feet over the large rocks of the parking lot. The front of my body was being cut like a potato being peeled. I felt the rear wheels spinning out of control on the backs of my thighs, the rubber digging into my skin, cutting and burning me. The front wheels spun over my shoulder blades, slicing my skin on my back and the sharp rocks cutting into my skin on my stomach, chest and shoulders, from being dragged. I remember the front bumper being four inches from my face and I thought that my head was going to be crushed, and it was going to end there. Luckily, the driver crashed into the back of a parked truck, and I was pinned under the cart screaming in agony. The cart crashing into the back of that truck saved my life.

Two strangers ran over to the cart, and in several attempts, managed to lift the front of the cart up just enough for a friend to pull me out by my bloody arms. One of the men broke the fingers on his hand in doing so. I laid there totally still, in shock, covered in blood, terrified. I was scared to try to wiggle my toes in fear of the pain it would cause, but even more so that my toes would not move because of the trauma that my back had suffered. Amazingly, I wiggled my toes, I was not paralyzed.

The paramedics arrived, and were scared to touch me due to my extensive injuries and possible paralysis. I consented to be treated and placed on an immobilizing stretcher and rushed to the emergency room. In the emergency room, I received more than 20 x-rays, CAT scans of my abdomen to check for internal bleeding and damage to my organs, I was given countless pain medications intravenously, and nurses and doctors spent hours digging gravel out of my legs, stomach, shoulders, and arms. I was also treated for the burns from the spinning tires on the back of my body. Upon release the next day, I was ordered to see my orthopedic physician immediately.

My orthopedic physician noted my countless abrasions, and diagnosed me with torn ligaments in my wrist, a dislocated shoulder, extensive cartilage damage in both of my knees, deep bone bruises and tissue damage, a fractured tailbone, and a crushed disc between my L4 and L5 vertebrae. I could not walk without assistance.

And so my journey began. I could not walk for more than 5 weeks. My mother took me to consult with my orthopedic doctor two or three times a week to monitor my pain and injuries. My doctor did not understand why I was not improving. I felt as though someone had taken all of my muscles, ligaments and nerves and tied them in knots, pulling on them like a puppet on strings.

I was wearing large knee braces on both of my knees, a wrist brace, and shoulder harness to keep my shoulder from falling. I was on bed rest due to my back injury. I was put through countless tests. Starting with MRI’s, I had two on each leg, one on my left shoulder, left wrist, two on my back, and at least 15 more X-rays. Aside from the obvious, there was no additional diagnosis for the unusual and unbearable pain. I was given a nerve conduction study, which felt like human torture. I was on countless medications including oxycodone, oxicontin, neurontin, vicodin, percocet, cymbalta, lidocaine, and lyrica. Weighing 130 pounds, I lost almost 20 pounds from being so ill from my medications.

My doctor suggested an arthroscopy of my left knee to begin finding the most problematic areas and in an attempt to find a resolution. In January of 2007, I had my arthroscopy, and upon waking from anesthesia I was in excruciating pain, the worst since my accident. It felt like someone was trying to saw my leg off with a chainsaw, like someone was lighting my leg on fire, with a powerful blowtorch. I told my mom “something is very wrong.”

I was told that I should be walking within two to three days. My mom brought me home, where I lay on the couch. Little did I know I would be spending the next six months in that very spot. Within one day, my leg swelled to be twice the size it had been, it grew deep purple in color, to even blow a breath on it was horribly painful and tortuous. I felt like I was being electrocuted, stabbed, and stung by killer bees from hip to toe. I cried in agony. I could not touch my foot with my own hand, I could not put a sock on, I could not touch one toe to the floor, the feeling of even the softest sheet on my leg felt like I was being lit on fire.

Upon my post-operative visit, my doctor was baffled. I was instructed to continue to use crutches as needed, but to try to weight-bear. My leg had the strength of a wet noodle, and I still felt a terribly deep burn from my left hip into my toes. Weeks later, still on crutches, and still unable to move my leg at all, I was given a full leg immobilizing brace to help get me to touch my foot on the ground again. Physical therapy was hopeless, I was helpless. My leg was deteriorating right in front of my eyes. I sat and stared at it, atrophied, purple, cold, torturing me. How did I go from being such an active young woman, to someone who could not get up unassisted, could not work, could not think, and could barely mentally and emotionally function over “losing” a limb?

Months later, with endless and unsuccessful attempts at rehabilitation, with my parents by my side, my doctor diagnosed me with Reflexive Sympathetic Dystrophy. Of course my first question was “okay how do I get rid of it?” That diagnosis changed my life forever. I cannot “get rid of it.”

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy is a chronic neurological syndrome characterized by severe burning pain, pathological changes in bone and skin, excessive sweating, tissue swelling, extreme sensitivity to touch and constant feelings of being stabbed and electrocuted. RSD is a malfunction of part of the nervous system. Nerves misfire, sending constant pain signals to the brain. It develops in response to an event the body regards as traumatic, such as an accident or a medical procedure. There are many emotional and mental effects such as memory loss, confusion, severe depression inability to sleep, and suicidal ideations. On the McGill Pain Scale, RSD is higher than an amputation and child birth. RSD can spread through your entire body, including your organs. Can you imagine your organs feeling like they are on fire? This is not a psychological syndrome, but people may develop psychological problems when physicians, family, friends, and co-workers do not believe their complaints of pain.

After my diagnosis, I went home and read about RSD on the internet, learning that it is a medical mystery, there is no cure, there are very few doctors that are able to treat patients that have RSD and it is absolutely debilitating. I was terrified.

I consulted with a Nerve Pathologist in Baltimore in June of 2007, who performs surgery on patients with nerve damage to help eliminate the painful misfirings that occur in nerve paths. While a normal and healthy nerve path is pink in color, mine are completely white. My nerve pathologist has attempted to delicately separate nerves in my leg, since they have become so mangled, and he has severed many nerves because they misfire and cause horrendous pain. I can still feel each nerve ending misfiring, it feels like someone is combing my leg with sharp knives.

I have had five surgeries, over 150 stitches from my waist to my toes, 3 spinal nerve blocks, and endless physical therapy aqua therapy, nerve desensitization, and prescriptions to help with my pain. Nothing takes it away. I have been forced to use a walker, countless braces, an air cast, and had to have a Continuous Passive Motion machine brought to my house to force my frozen leg to bend. I frequently see my nerve pathologist and pain management specialist for updates and to try to manage my RSD. I am in excruciating pain 100% of my day, every day. There is little treatment, and there is NO cure for RSD.

RSD keeps my RSD friends and me from living a “normal” life, it has stolen our world. I used to love to run, hike, ski, snowboard, play soccer, golf, tennis, swim and now I struggle to walk short distances.

We all need help! There are wonderful foundations, such as Reflexive Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome Association who is working so hard to raise money, to find answers, to help all of us who struggle, and to find A CURE!!!! Please help us raise awareness for Reflexive Sympathetic Dystrophy, and help us find physicians to learn more about this mysterious disease. Please help us get our lives back.

**Every little part of you is magical. Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It’s alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that’s exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: ‘I love you.’**