Living with Teen Pregnancy

Hi.

I’m telling my story in hopes that girls will learn from this. Well I was 16 when I got pregnant. My boyfriend at the time was 19 going on 20. He actually pressured me into having sex. We were together for about 6 months when I found out I was pregnant. He said he would be there for me and for a while I believed him. We broke up half way through my pregnancy. I ended up getting kicked out of my (catholic) high school and having to finish the rest of my junior year at home. That nine months was the hardest time I have ever gone through.

As time went by I started to smarten up and see my baby’s father for who he really was. He was a nobody. He never finished high school and couldn’t keep a job. He resorted to selling drugs to make money and he was wrapped up in gang life. I realized that that is not the type of person I want my child to call daddy. So towards the end of my pregnancy I told him that I wasn’t going to allow him in my sons life. That right there put him over the edge. I was harassed by him constantly calling me to the point where I had to change my number. He even threatened to shoot me and take my baby. If that’s not enough he tried to get me jumped WHILE I WAS PREGNANT!

I ended up having my son, Julian, in the summer. The father was not listed on the birth certificate. After I had my son he started showing up at my house while I was alone with my newborn and I had to call the police a few times. Eventually I got a restraining order but that still didn’t stop him and the police did nothing to help. He would show up at my school and wait outside. I was even out with my boyfriend one night and we happened to drive by him as he road his bike and he actually turned around and tried to go after us. I spent everyday looking over my shoulder wherever I went just in case somebody was going to try to harm me. For so long I wouldn’t go anywhere alone.

Now I am 19 and I have finished high school and I am currently working a well paying job and going to college to become a nurse. With everything I have gone through I did it all for my son. You hardly ever hear of the women not allowing the father to come around and many people thought I was in the wrong for the decision I made. I thought long and hard about it and I thought of it like this: he may be in my sons life now but 5 or maybe 10 years down the road is he going to be there? most likely not. So if that why have him around now for him to leave one day and probably never come back? My child’s father has had two kids since mine and he hasn’t done much for either of them which proves me right.

I have brought life as a single parent onto myself and believe me it is very hard. Balancing a child, a part time job, and going to school full time is no easy task but my son is my motivation. Being a parent means you have to grow up fast. Your life isn’t yours anymore and every choice you make has to be for the benefit of your child. Although my son may not have a father I am ready and willing to do my best to be both a mother and a father to him.

For all the girls out there reading this who are currently sexually active please take my story to heart. Never in my life did I think I would have a child so young. But it DOES happen. I was young and was dealing with a lot of inner personal issues and I let a boy take control over me all because I wanted to feel loved when in reality I didn’t love myself enough to love know what love is. Sex isn’t the way to prove you love someone and never let a man tell you any different. The city I live in is poverty stricken and the teen pregnancy rate is one of the largest in my state. I never thought that would be me. Always keep in mind that it is possible.