Living with Teen Pregnancy

I was 14 years old when I had my first child, I lied to my mom about how I became pregnant and she was so supportive, until she found out I had sex and lied to her, it took her a while to get over it and I think after two years she is finally over or was getting over it until I got pregnant again, I didn’t tell her she found out and you know I was not going to tell her until it was to late. I can’t find the boy that is my baby’s father and that is the same thing with my first. I don’t do what she ask as far as finding them becuase I don’t want to expose myself as a sexual person but I know my mom needs help. I worried her so much with my first child and she took and still does take care of him like he is hers’ its just I am not sure I am really ready for this child either, I know she will be there but I think I have exhausted her now becuase she lost so much stuff and i didn’t lose anything.

Anyway I am 6 months pregnant and starting all over again, and the bad part is I can’t afford either child and you know she is still mad at me for this next one becuase she told me not to do it again and I did it again not caring. I hope and pray she doesn’t leave me to raise my second son alone but I put this on myself. There are so many that get kicked out and she has never done this to me but I still abuse her as far as lying to her about the dads, don’t do what I am supposed to but she is still there for me, she is what I hope to be when I grow up. we all need to grow up and realize we are not parents we have kids by mistake and expect out parents to let us live our lives while they take care of our kids, I know my mom loves me but sometimes I dont feel I love her because she is not willing to except my kids so I can finish my life and then she can finish hers. I made this mistake but I hope she can jump in there like she did my first and help but I see now she is still angry with it all and I can only walk around the house and hope she doesn’t leave me to fend for myself when I cna’t even do for my first one.