Living with Vaginal Birth After Cesarean

I had identical twin boys 15 yrs ago. The first twin was breech so they took them cessarian [Cesarean]. I got pregnant 6 yrs. later & was toled not asked that I was going v bac. I was scared to death. I am a very petite women. My son was born he tore my vagina wall & I was rushed to surgery I was disappointed. He weighed 7lbs 5oz& was born face up. I had 2 ultra sounds the first at weeks pregnant the 2nd at 5 mos. The Dr. did n’t do any more not even during labor I feel like he was CPD…

Now I am toled if I were to get pregnant again it has to be cessarian because of the tear which caused mazor scarring.I ended up with a mazor infection was sent home with a newborn NO antibiotics which I find strange. To this day I have UTI’S all the time. Why was I not given the proposition of cessarian after allready being through it? The exspence of this delevery probably did more damage to my body plus couldn’t have been any cheaper. I am very dissappointed because I feel like I am ruined in my vagina area it is so scarred & hardly has feeling in the area that I was torn. Why would a Doctor risk 2 lives for his pride? And to say to me after it happened that oh, you just wanted to get out of the pain of delivery. No that is not the point. I had no idea what delevery was eveen like. Bu I never felt so helpless in my life.

I could feel that he was stuck , but luckily he came out with no damage to him. I feel lucky that he is not dissabeled because the delevery was over12 hrs of hard labor & the drugs wore off & I am lucky he did not sufficate or worse. I just don’t know what to think of vbac after cessarian I think if it needs to be that way they ought to atleast do an ultrasound to make sure the baby is positioned properly & isn’t to big for the mother to deliver. Things like this could have cost me my life or my son’s. I think women that are toled to do this they need to look into it unlike me & really think of the other dangers that could happenlike to me. Thanks for letting me vent.. I feel like this was totally uncalled for & the Doctor should pay for ruining my body!!